Compulsive Sexual Behavior
There is an ongoing debate if addiction, and specifically if sex addiction or compulsive sexuality, really exists. While some critiques to these models are fair – science and research from the fields of inter-personal neurobiology, affective neuroscience, dissociation and trauma, support that a process occurs in a certain individuals’ central nervous systems, and they are unable to manage their internal experience without shame or judgement.
I work with individuals who have out-of-control sexual behaviors they would like to change. As a sex therapist, I am not the morality police. I work from a non-shaming and non-punitive perspective. I am here to help people have more choice and control over compulsive and out-of-control sexuality.
What Sex Addiction and Compulsive Sexuality IS NOT:
Sexual Orientation
Gender Orientation
By-product of other mental health issues and illnesses
By-product of methamphetamine consumption
In June of 2018, the World Health Organization (WHO) included in the ICD-11 – Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder
https://icd.who.int/browse11/l-m/en#/http://id.who.int/icd/entity/1630268048
An addictive process around sexuality is a compulsive relationship with a mood-altering experience that often includes cycles of deprivation and excesses.
It is often a habitualized behaviour involving any type of uncontrollable sexual activity that results in negative consequences.
Often times sex addicts find themselves “living a double life” — they are trapped by a complicated web of secrets and lies they have told in order to maintain their sexual activities such as:
Compulsive masturbation and secrecy
Obsessive Fantasizing to the point of dissociation in your primary relationship
Pornography dependence and addiction
CyberSex outside of relationship
Multiple emails, phone numbers, online accounts, sexting
Out of control anonymous sex
Numerous affairs
Hiring prostitutes, attending strip clubs or massage parlours and lying to one’s spouse
Illegal voyeurism
Sex until injury
The dependence on something outside of oneself can be viewed as a process addiction or behavioural dependence, like that of a gambler, disordered eater or a compulsive exerciser.
Individuals sometimes swing to the other end of the continuum during their recovery process and try to sidestep anything pertaining to sexuality or intimacy with their partner or themselves. This is known as Sexual Anorexia.
Pornography Use and Dependence
Porn dependence and addiction, internet sex or cybersex addiction are becoming increasingly prevalent. The research of the impacts of pornography on people and relationships are mixed. Not everyone who views pornography online develops a problem with it or has negative experiences. However, there are individuals who have attempted to lessen or stop watching pornography and been unsuccessful.
I work with many individuals, helping them understand their compulsive pornography use and working with them to find what is healthy for their own use of online content.
Adolescent Considerations – the lack of healthy sexual education in our Western culture has a detrimental impact on children’s and adolescents’ brain and psyche development. Some research suggests that teens are learning a lot about sexuality from pornography. This could be particularly problematic if adults are not available to answer questions in an objective and informative way – the consequences can include children and teens experiencing a problematic trajectory of sexuality and sexual health, due to misinformation, inadequate education and confusing messages in our culture.
